Welcome to Show the Receipts, a new series where we ask interesting people to share exactly how much it costs to get shit done. No matter the task, we’re tracking every last dollar from start to finish. Up next: being a bridesmaid.
While it’s considered an honor to be chosen as a bridesmaid for a friend’s wedding day, it often comes at a cost. For Lauren*, it’s inching into the thousands of dollars.
Lauren is approaching her third time being part of a wedding party. She’s the maid of honor in an upcoming destination wedding this fall, which will be preceded by a destination bachelorette trip, both of which are several states away from New York, where she resides. Because of the double-destination events, and resulting flights for each, it’s proving to be one of the more expensive weddings she’s been a part of.
The associated costs are many, but standard. There’s the engagement gift, and then Lauren treated the bride to lunch during a day of wedding dress shopping. The forthcoming bachelorette trip will entail flights, a rental car, and three-night Airbnb stay, which is being split evenly between friends. A group activity, prix-fixe dinner, and private chef-cooked meal round out the expenses, although Lauren expects other costs to come up on the trip, like rideshares, shopping, and unplanned meals. She and another bridesmaid are also splitting the price of welcome gift bags for each attendee.
As for the wedding itself, getting there is the biggest expense because the location is remote and there are few direct flights. Lauren and the other bridesmaids are also splitting a suite at the same hotel where the bride is staying, at her request. They are all paying for, but got to choose, their dresses. When all is said and done, it will set Lauren back quite a bit. “I’m basically working an unpaid internship that weekend,” she tells PS.
Lauren is grateful, however, that the bride’s been “extremely chill.” She tells PS, “I haven’t been getting texts every day being like, ‘What do you think of this? What do you think of that? Should I wear this?’ She’s not requiring a lot of emotional support, which is costing and taxing in and of itself. So, credit where credit is due.”
Here’s the full cost breakdown.
Task: Being a bridesmaid
Occupation: Marketing
Location: New York City
The Receipts
Engagement gift: $100
Wedding dress shopping lunch: $100
Bachelorette flights: $560
Bachelorette Airbnb: $260
Bachelorette dinners: $300
Bachelorette activities: $70
Bachelorette welcome gift bags: $60
Bachelorette rental car: $30
Wedding flights: $900
Wedding hotel stay: $621
Bridesmaid dress: $400
Total: $3,401
How I Did It
Being a bridesmaid may be an honor, but it also isn’t cheap, and Lauren is thankful she has a salary that can accommodate all the costs. Here, she shares some of her takeaways and how she might be changing her approach in the future.
PS: How are you budgeting to accommodate these bridesmaid expenses?
Lauren: I am honestly super lucky that I have a substantial salary. That being said, I’m not saving nearly as much money as I would like to be. This nearly $4,000 that I could be putting toward a down payment on a house is going to a wedding.
I’m not not having to make sacrifices – I’m still going out to dinner and going to concerts, I’m still able to live my life – but I’m just lucky that the timing is working out, and that I have this high salary right now since I’m spending a billion dollars on weddings.
PS: Where were you able to save?
Lauren: I’m fairly certain the hair and makeup is included because at the last wedding I went to, I told this bride that we had to pay for hair, and she was like, “Oh, you won’t have to do that for mine.” I was also invited to the bridal shower, but didn’t go because it was also a destination and the bride said she didn’t expect me to come, and so I didn’t.
PS: How might this experience impact your involvement in weddings going forward?
Lauren: I have a few friends that are either engaged or about to be engaged, but I am going to be more intentional about what I say yes and no to. It’s been easy the last year or two because it’s been the first few couples getting engaged and married, so there’s a lot of excitement and you haven’t spent all that money yet, so you don’t really think about it.
I will be more thoughtful about how much I commit to. But if I was to be asked to be a bridesmaid again, I would say yes because it is an honor. It’s such a sweet reflection of how this friend cares for you and sees your friendship.
Final Thoughts
By and large, Lauren has mixed feelings about being a bridesmaid. “I love my friends and I love our friend group. Of course I wanna celebrate these people. And I would never judge any of my friends for wanting to lean in. It’s such a special, once-in-a-lifetime experience that they all deserve to have,” she says. “It’s just expensive. It really adds up.”
Lauren knows she’ll have a great time at this upcoming wedding, and her mood will likely shift “once all is said and done and the money’s been spent,” but the lead-up has been a challenge. “I feel bad. I’m such a scrooge about it, but it’s just gotten so ridiculous,” she adds. “I would never spend this much money on any trip for myself, let alone a wedding that I didn’t ask to be a part of.”
*Name has been changed.
Kelsey Garcia is the associate content director of PS Balance, where she oversees lifestyle coverage, from dating to parenting and financial wellness. Kelsey is passionate about travel, skin-care trends, and changes in the social media landscape. Before joining the PS team more than eight years ago as an editorial assistant, she interned at Elle and Harper’s Bazaar, among other publications.
