If you’re looking to spice up your sex life, exploring new foreplay ideas is a great place to start. Not only can foreplay be a fun and playful way to build intimacy with your partner, but it can also enhance the amount of pleasure you experience – especially during penetration.
When you think of foreplay ideas like blowjobs, cunnilingus, making out, and masturbating, though, you probably consider them to be the activities that come before sex. But foreplay doesn’t have to be a precursor to sex: it can also be the main event.
“You’ll hear folks refer to things like manual stimulation, rubbing of the genitals, and even oral sex as foreplay, but these things are all sex on their own,” says certified sex therapist Rachel Zar. “They can feel great whether they’re in the beginning, middle, or end of a sexual experience.”
No matter when you foreplay or what it looks like, every type of sex is valid – regardless of if there’s penetration involved or not. Below, Zar explains more about foreplay and shares foreplay ideas you can add to your sex life.
Experts Featured in This Article
Rachel Zaris an AASECT-certified sex therapist and doctor of clinical sexology in Chicago.
What Is Foreplay?
Foreplay can be anything that prepares your brain for sex, Zar says. “I would categorize foreplay as setting up the context for sex to take place – it’s flirting the day of, planning a sexual date, and putting on a sexy outfit,” she says. “These little things can be crucial for sex to happen.”
Though most people may think foreplay is what you do before penetration, foreplay can also be the sex itself. “Think of everything that you may have traditionally put on the foreplay list – kissing, grinding, touching, licking, etc. – as menu items that you get to come back to throughout a sexual experience,” Zar says. In other words, foreplay can be whatever you want it to be, and it certainly doesn’t just have to be a “warm up” for something else after.
That said, if you do plan on having intercourse, people with vaginas need stimulation before going straight into penetration. “Jumping straight to intercourse when you’re not physiologically aroused enough can lead to a painful or uncomfortable experience, and even tears in the vaginal walls,” Zar says. For this reason, she recommends at least 20 minutes of “feel-good touch” before jumping into any sort of penetration.
Foreplay Ideas
If you’re here to add some new foreplay moves to your bedroom game, we’ve got you covered. Just keep in mind that these foreplay ideas below can happen at any point during sex. Foreplay doesn’t have to be a warm-up or appetizer; if you enjoy it enough, it can simply be the main event.
Flirt with your partner. Whether you flirt over text message or in real life, give your partner some love and affection. Compliment them in order to get them feeling a certain way.
Sext your partner. Sexting is one of the best ways to tease what you want to do to your partner. Use these sexting examples as inspiration, and send your partner something you want to do to them later. Just make sure that consent is established before sending anything explicit. You can gauge your partner’s interest by sending something like, “Is now a good time to tell you what I want to do to you later?”
Play dirty truth or dare. Starting off your night with a sex game is never a bad idea. Play dirty truth or dare to explore new kinks or sex positions and reveal your horniest secrets.
Masturbate in front of each other. Mutual masturbation is a kinky foreplay idea that allows all partners to pleasure themselves and explore their inner exhibitionist. Simply sit across from your partner and show them how you like to be touched.
Watch porn together. Porn is having a moment right now. Not only are there tons of female-friendly porn sites you can watch with your partner, but you can also listen to audio porn or read erotic stories if the visuals don’t do it for you.
Experiment with temperature play. Adding an ice cube to your sex life is quite literally the chilliest way to get horny. Use temperature play, with an ice cube or candle wax, to experiment with different temperatures.
Surprise your partner with lingerie underneath your outfit. Not only is lingerie a sexy surprise, but trust me when I say it will definitely make you feel like the hottest person alive.
Feed your appetite. Sploshing is the X-rated version of playing with your food. Use items like whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and strawberries to explore erogenous zones on your partner. While most places are fair game, avoid inserting any food or substance inside your or your partner’s vagina to avoid bacterial infections and UTIs.
Send your partner a sex GIF. Once consent is established, instead of sexting back and forth, simply find a hot sex GIF and send it over to your partner. You could even caption it something like, “I want you to do this with me tonight. Game?”
Download a masturbation app. This foreplay idea is great if both you and your partner don’t want to be in control. Simply download a masturbation app and let the app coax you into your orgasm beside your partner.
Take an online kink test together. What better foreplay idea than learning about each other’s kinks? Take the online kink test from TikTok here.
Taylor Andrews is a Balance editor at PS who specializes in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, and more.
