When I think of my son’s mind, I imagine a bumblebee buzzing to and fro in hurried movements until a beautiful flower slows it down. The bee will stop, smell the roses, and sip from its sweet nectar before buzzing off again. We could all learn something from bees, and that’s exactly how I feel about my son, who was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 5. Here’s how the last year has gone.
As his mother, I didn’t need a diagnosis to know there was something special about my son. I quickly noticed that he was on his own timeline with personal development, which didn’t always coincide with the average age for milestones like crawling, walking, and talking. He was constantly compared to his twin sister, who was developing at warp speed in all areas. But I did my best not to worry. Whether it was a doctor, friend, or family member who questioned the speed of his development, especially in comparison to his twin sister, I’d say, “He’ll be just fine.” I knew that as long as he was being supported during his personal development and the timeline for what worked best for him, he would be. Over the past year, that has become more evident than ever before.
What I’ve learned about being a mom to a child with ADHD is that this journey is not a straight path at all. It’s filled with twists, unexpected turns, and mountains and molehills to climb. One day, we celebrate big gains, and the next, I’m quietly sitting with him on my lap until he can calm down from overwhelming feelings.
As he continues finding his way, I work on strategies I can use to be the best support I can be for him every step of the way. Here are some things I’m doing to prepare him for first grade and his continued evolution into being perfectly him.
Independence Is Important For My Child With ADHD
At some point, parents need to allow their children to do things for themselves. When we’re rushing and hurrying the kids along, it’s easy just to help them with day-to-day tasks. But if we allow them the freedom to do these things on their own, it not only gives them a sense of independence but also boosts confidence within these little humans.
For example, during kindergarten, I stopped helping my son with simple things like getting dressed in the morning, fixing the bed, and brushing his teeth. Of course, I’d double-check with a breath test and assist if another round of brushing was needed, but the first go was on him. I immediately saw the pride he felt in accomplishing these tasks. I started implementing this at night as well, and now, he knows the routine without me having to list what needs to be done. This may seem like a small achievement to some, but for a child with ADHD, these are huge successes, and I make sure to celebrate these wins for him.
Diet Has Made a Difference With My Son’s ADHD Symptoms
What my son eats is a big deal. Learning what works and doesn’t has been one of the biggest challenges as his mom. It’s been trial and error since he was born and was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, which means his thyroid gland can’t make enough thyroid hormone to keep his body running normally. Along with prescription medication he takes every morning, it’s important to support him with a healthy diet, which also helps with his ADHD.
Interestingly, I discovered that certain foods can trigger ADHD symptoms, like hyperactivity, while others can help with focus. A 2015 study published in the National Library of Medicine shows that children with ADHD are more likely to be sensitive to ingredients eliminated in the Feingold diet, such as synthetic food colorings or processed foods.
I also learned that a lot of the foods suggested for children with ADHD symptoms are linked to our ancestors’ diets. My son is half Puerto Rican and half Mexican, and both cultures include foods like corn, squash, beans, avocado, and his personal favorite, sweet potatoes. This food provides protein and essential fatty acids, which are good for brain function, and can also be found in fish like tuna and salmon, which I include in his diet weekly. Fresh fruit is always on the grocery list because he thrives with the natural sugar from berries, bananas, apples, pineapple, and mangos that don’t end with the hard crash he’d experience from processed sugar.
Leafy greens are also super important, but he doesn’t like them, so I find fun ways to include them in his meals. I chop up kale and add it to the ground beef when we have quesadillas. He eats every bite. For breakfast, I’ll make scrambled eggs with chopped spinach and manchego cheese.
I Make Sure to Always Validate My Son’s Feelings
As a boy-mom, I knew I wanted to honor my son’s emotions. This was something of importance to me even before his diagnosis. I want him to learn early on in life that he does not have to put up a front when he feels vulnerable and sad. As a boy, he can cry and allow those deep emotions to flow through him without trying to suppress them to meet these harmful expectations of masculinity.
With ADHD, his emotions can be quite overwhelming for him to understand and manage. He’s had crying fits that keep him stuck in one place as if he can’t even lift a foot to continue walking or moving forward. During these times, I allow myself to get stuck with him. I stand, and we hug, and he cries on my shoulder. There have been times when I will sit right on the sidewalk with the busy city buzzing by us, and I’ll hold him and reassure him that he is safe.
As we head into the second half of summer break, I make sure to be consistent with what we do throughout the school year so he doesn’t regress before entering first grade. Throughout his development, I want him to keep one thing in mind – the things that make him special don’t make him a bad child, as he is often misunderstood. Instead, they make him unique and there is nothing wrong with that.
Zayda Rivera is a POPSUGAR contributor. She has been a professional writer for more than 20 years. Z is a certified Reiki Master Teacher, yoga and Zumba instructor, mindfulness and meditation guide, tarot reader, and spiritual mentor.
