A quickie can be tempting if you and your significant other have conflicting schedules, a brimming social calendar, or are often overwhelmed by work or child-rearing. But how do you maximize those condensed moments of passion to ensure that the sex is still actually satisfying?
“People vary greatly when it comes to how long they generally want to go during sex, and how much stamina they typically have,” sexologist Carol Queen, PhD, tells PS. “One couple’s five-minute quickie is another couple’s normal duration.”
If you’re short on time, it’s important to remember that there are many kinds of erotic touch: oral sex, hand stuff, and mutual masturbation all count, and while they might be considered foreplay for some couples, they’re valid standalone sex acts that are perfect for a faster session. Plus, there’s something incredibly hot about that urgently needing to have someone right there and right now, especially if you’ve been together for a while and want to reawaken that adventurous sense of sexual excitement.
And while there’s a belief that quick romps are unsatisfying, mainly for people with vulvas, there are a few tricks you can keep up your sleeve to ensure that your quickie is still pleasurable.
Experts Featured in This Article
Carol Queen, PhD, is an author, educator, and sexologist. Dr. Queen is also the staff sexologist for the sex toy retailer Good Vibrations.
Javay Frye-Nekrasova, PhD, is a writer and sex educator known as the Millennial Sexpert. She is also a resident sex educator at Lovehoney.
Timothy Lagman is a certified sex educator, pleasure advocate, and founder of Sex Ed With Tim.
How to Make Quickie Sex More Enjoyable
Time (and Distraction) Management
First of all, how many minutes should it take? There’s no standard amount of time for a quickie – the actual duration of the sex will vary from person to person.
You may want to set an alarm for your steamy fun so that you don’t constantly check the clock and let distractions enter your mind, which can stop you from fully being in the moment and can prevent an orgasm (if that’s your goal). Mentally keeping track of time is just another responsibility, so setting and forgetting the alarm can help you make the most of your time together.
Having your phone in the room might not create a distraction-free zone for everyone, however. Javay Frye-Nekrasova, sex educator at Lovehoney, recommends turning off phones for the duration of the quickie, or turning on music to increase relaxation while blocking distractions. And while dirty talk can act as a form of foreplay to make sex hotter, it can also help you stay in the moment and act as a form of distraction management.
Finally, feel free to keep clothing on: there’s something extra naughty about lifting up a skirt or dress and pulling those panties to the side that can be even sexier than ripping each other’s clothes off.
Consider Where to Have Your Quickie
A quickie at home, a hotel room, or a private bathroom are all versatile options that can work depending on your desired positions. Bending over a bathroom mirror and seeing all the action up close may help get you off even faster. But remember that cars, smaller bathrooms, and other tight places can be logistically tricky and may limit your positions and comfort level. This will of course vary based on preferences, flexibility, and strength.
Choose the Right Sex Toys
Now, you might wonder if a sex toy may get in the way of quickies, but toys can actually be a helper – not a hassle – regardless of how much time you have.
While a quickie may not be the best time for a complicated BDSM set-up or an exploration of a new kink, if you’re on a tight schedule, a powerful sex toy that gets the job done can increase chances of orgasm and satisfaction. For people with vulvas, a wand vibrator, bullet vibrator, or clitoral suction toy are all great choices that can fit in a purse or be used at home.
While sex toys can increase the likelihood of orgasm, it’s important to acknowledge that not everyone may be able to climax from a quickie. “A quickie does not necessarily have to involve penetration, and it does not need to end in an orgasm. If you are pressed for time and have not prepared for penetrative sex, you can still enjoy your quickie,” says certified sex educator Timothy Lagman.
“You can masturbate and watch porn. You can also make out while doing over-the-shirt stuff. You don’t even have to touch someone and keep it all in dirty talk. If you have a subscription to audio erotica, you can enjoy that one chapter in the bathroom stall.” Lagman adds, “The possibilities are endless.”
Pleasure is about more than the destination. As long as you’re ok with that, quickies can act as an appetizer for longer, more luxurious sex at a later time.
Find Ways to Still Incorporate Foreplay
Even though the aim is to speed things up, rushing into sex without foreplay can ruin a quickie. It takes vulva owners time to warm up and naturally lubricate or relax, so dedicating time to this is essential. Dr. Queen notes there is an “on-ramp of arousal” to activities, even if your time is limited. (And lube always helps.)
Utilizing sex toys right from the start can help. Beyond adding pleasure products into your speedy sesh, take advantage of dirty talk and teasing each other, and watch or listen to porn together.
Foreplay can also start before your quickie – build that anticipation! Sext each other leading up to the moment. Consider adding panty vibrators and wearable vibrating cock rings or butt plugs into the mix, too. These toys can be worn when doing everyday tasks and can be controlled by your partner, acting as the ultimate tease and getting you hot and bothered so that you’re ready to get frisky as soon as your time together begins.
Curate a Quickie Kit
These encounters are all about efficiency, and a pre-planned routine with prep and cleanup in mind can be helpful.
Your kit can consist of wipes, a Dripstick Cum Sponge, condoms, a small bottle of lube or arousal oil, mini sex toys, and even some dry shampoo if you tend to sweat during sex. Knowing that everything you need can be found in one place will help you relax in the moment for your spontaneous adventure.
Best Quickie Sex Positions
Quickie sex positions should be versatile in different locations, easy to do with your clothes on, and suitable for sex toys if you choose to use them.
Dr. Queen recommends missionary or cowgirl, adding, says, “A classic quickie intercourse position is doggy style, partly because, especially if one partner is wearing a skirt, it’s pretty easy to do clothed. Look at all the time you save not having to get undressed!”
Standing oral is also a spicy option that won’t take up horizontal space and can be done in various locations. If you have a bed nearby, anything is possible (we love hitting that snooze button for a morning spoon session), but feel free to get creative and experiment with positions on an office chair, desk, couch, or even a sink if it’s supportive enough.
Naima Karp is a sexual wellness and lifestyle writer with more than a decade of experience. She prides herself on writing empowering articles that promote inclusivity and awareness for readers, presented through a unique lens. In addition to PS, Naima has written freelance content for digital publications like Spy, Well+Good, and Variety.
