As most of us know by now, lesbian sex scenes in movies and TV shows don’t always do a great job of depicting how lesbians realistically have sex. Most, in fact, are created in the eyes of a male director with zero knowledge of how two people with vulvas actually have sex – ahem, “Blue is The Warmest Color.”
But the cool thing about lesbian sex is that there is no right way to do it. Of course, there are some basic lesbian sex positions that many may enjoy, but generally, queer people create their pleasure according to whatever feels good for them – and that’s all sex has to be.
We did, however, ask around the lesbian community to see which lesbian sex positions are being enjoyed the most these days. And since too many lesbian sex positions are misconstrued and not taught properly, we’re here to give you honest answers on why these lesbian sex positions are a favorite.
Below, here are the best lesbian sex positions, according to 13 lesbians.
Lesbian Sex Position: Scissoring
Also known as tribbing, scissoring is a lesbian sex position most common because of how much it shows up in porn, says sexologist Alice Child. “One of the easiest ways to try scissoring is for two people to sit facing each other with their legs spread apart, then shimmying closer together until their bodies and vulvas meet. From there, you can hold onto one another and grind, pulse, gyrate, and wiggle your bodies against each other in whatever way feels great for you,” Child shares.
However, there are a lot of scissoring variations. For example, Beau Marks, 24, says “I can’t do vulva to vulva. It just doesn’t work for me, but there’s nothing I like more than being on top of someone and rubbing my clit on their thigh.” Child also recommends adding sex toys or fingers to the mix, like placing a soft bullet vibrator between your bodies.
For Tori Singer, 31, she loves scissoring because it’s an “intimate queer experience.” Singer adds, “It will definitely take a lot of tries to get it down and find your perfect position, but so worth it once you figure it out.”
Lesbian Sex Position: 69
This lesbian sex position allows both partners to feel satisfaction. Essentially, 69 is when one partner is on top, the other partner is on the bottom facing the opposite way, and each is receiving and giving simultaneously. This can be done either orally or penetrative, and fingers are always encouraged.
“I love satisfying my partner while she is satisfying me. There is nothing like it. It’s also super easy to get into position and can be really satisfying,” says Lily Fender, 31.
April Short, 28, also loves the position. They add, “The 69 position will never get old. It’s kind of cool that one day, I could be on the top and then on the bottom the next with a whole different view. With some of my partners, I use 69ing as foreplay to really get in the mood.”
To make the position a little easier, you can lie on your sides or use a pillow to support your head. But also make sure to take breaks and check-in with your partner, as it’s harder to read one another since you’re facing opposite directions.
Lesbian Sex Position: The Slider
Nicknamed the slider, this position involves direct finger stimulation and very close contact. While one person is sitting down, the other is sitting on their lap, being penetrated, usually at a medium to slow pace – similarly to what the Yab Yum tantric sex position looks like. Using however many fingers you prefer, you can slide your hand across your partner’s clitoris and inside of them, making consistent stroking motions.
“There’s nothing I like more than chest-to-chest contact with my partner while having sex, and sliding is exactly that. Nothing compares,” says Nick Talbert, 23. For Casey Meyer, 27, they share, “I wasn’t even sure if this position had a name because we kind of accidentally did it one day, but now I’m addicted. It can be a super short thing or longer, depending on what we’re feeling.”
Lesbian Sex Position: Off-the-Bed Kneel
This classic oral-sex position is a favorite for a reason. The bed kneel is when one partner has their legs open all the way at the edge of the bed, while the other partner kneels and uses their tongue and mouth to perform oral. As simple as that, this position is a favorite for many lesbians because it gets the job done, according to Lauren*, 33. “My partner comes every time. I love it because my partner loves it, and I don’t have to worry about my neck hurting as much as I did if we were both on the bed.”
Emma Sharpe, 24, also explains their chronic condition does not flare up as much during the off-the-bed kneel. “As someone with joint pain, I love when my girlfriend is at the edge of the bed because my mouth lines up with her vulva, and there’s not a lot of movement required for my arms.”
Lesbian Sex Position: Queening
Face sitting or queening, whatever you want to call it, is a sexy position where the person on top can ride their partner’s face and feel all sorts of control. “Even for people who don’t usually love oral sex, face sitting can give you a completely different experience. It might be just what you’re looking for to spice up your sex life,” Child says.
In order to get into this lesbian sex position, sit your ass – or yourself – on your partner’s face and let their tongue do all the work. Or, if you’re inclined, let them relax and sway your body back and forth, like Phoebe Weissman, 25, suggests. “Face sitting is fun because as the receiver, I can decide to sit back or join in and do more work by positing my clit on my partner’s tongue. Kind of depends on how I’m feeling that day, but I like having the option. If either of us get tired, all we have to do is switch it up.”
Because breathing is a big consideration in this position, Child explains it’s best to establish nonverbal cues or safe words to communicate and ensure everyone is having an enjoyable time.
Lesbian Sex Position: Fisting
Although this sex position gets a bad wrap, it’s a popular lesbian sex position for many. Put plainly, fisting is when someone’s entire hand inserts inside their partner’s vaginal canal for penetration. This is a personal favorite for Melissa Urban, 40, who shares, “Fisting was a little scary in the beginning because I did not want to hurt my partner in any way, but it’s a lot easier than I expected. As long as you communicate, it’s great.”
Dana Schiftman, 25, also adds, “I love fisting because I’m a huge penetration person, and it feels way more intense than fingers, which I really enjoy.”
Although the position can be a little complex at first, it’s definitely worth exploring. Just remember to use lots of lube, ensure the person on the receiving end is relaxed, and start by working your way up to fisting with your fingers. Communicate what feels good, and of course, stop if anything begins to feel even slightly painful.
Lesbian Sex Position: Doggy Style
Yes, lesbians love doggy-style, too. The doggy sex position requires one partner to be on all fours and the other partner to be behind their legs, penetrating them from the back either vaginally or anally. You can use a strap-on dildo, your hands, or any hand-held sex toy.
Self-proclaimed strap lover Stephanie*, 32, shares, “This will always be my favorite because I feel really hot doing it. As a giver, I get really turned on pleasuring my partner from the back and seeing the shapes of her body.”
Child tells us a standard rule of thumb for all sexual positions, but especially doggy-style, is to never ever go from penetrating the anus to the vagina for hygiene purposes. “The vagina has a very delicate Ph balance and microbiome, and there are certain bacteria that can be found in the anus that you do not want in the vagina. This bacteria can increase your risk of certain infections, including bacterial vaginosis, yeast infections, and UTIs.”
For this reason, stick with one hole for one sex session, then, wash up (including your sex toys, fingers, hands, etc.) and move to another one.
Lesbian Sex Position: Reverse Cowgirl
In the reverse cowgirl sex position, one partner lies flat on the bed, while the other person sits on top facing their partner’s feet. But the reason why this sex position is a favorite for lesbians is because, in the position, the penetrating partner can use either fingers or a strap-on, depending on the preference.
The reverse cowgirl sex position can be really enjoyable for people who find direct G-spot penetration a little too much and want something a bit gentler, like Macy Cartwright, 29, who explained, “At first, I didn’t like reverse cowgirl because I’m all about the eye contact and that closeness feeling with someone, but once I tried it out, I became obsessed. I can be in control and look really hot at the same time.”
To easily get into the reverse cowgirl position, Child recommends squatting upright on the balls of your feet and bouncing up and down, or getting on your knees and leaning forward slightly, while holding onto your partner’s legs for extra leverage and support as you grind against them.
* Names have been changed.
