While it may be cute to inherit your mom’s blue eyes or your dad’s dimples, the last thing people likely want to inherit from their parents is a sexual kink. This question of whether or not kinks are hereditary has been buzzing around the internet for some time now, with viral TikToks and plenty of Google searches claiming it’s a thing. But are kinks actually hereditary?
According to psychologist Barbara Santini, a kink is a “sexual preference or behavior that contrasts with traditional sexual desires and fantasies.” In other words, the term is used to describe sexual preferences that can sometimes go above and beyond “vanilla” sex. For one person, their kink could be having anal sex. For another, their kink could involve being tied up in a BDSM dungeon. Ultimately, a kink is something that someone enjoys and finds pleasurable during sex but doesn’t necessarily need in order to orgasm.
Let’s say you happen to find temperature play arousing. Does that mean it’s because your mom enjoys it too? And if you have a thing for nipple play, is that because your dad is a sucker for some nipple stimulation? The thought is almost too jarring to think about.
The good news is that just because the Internet says something is true doesn’t mean it is. Though it could be possible that you are into spanking or humiliation or BDSM-style dungeon sex because one of your parents is into it too, your sexual kink could have manifested from something entirely different. Below, let’s fact-check whether you inherit your sexual kinks from your parents.
Experts Featured in This Article
Barbara Santini is a psychologist and sex and relationship expert at Peaches & Screams.
Are Kinks Hereditary?
Like most things in the sexual scientific world, there’s unfortunately not enough information out there to confirm whether or not kinks are actually hereditary, Santini says. Though one study published in the National Library of Medicine confirmed that there can be correlation between genetic influence on adolescent sexual behavior, Santini says the studies are “extremely scarce” and “we cannot make definitive conclusions at the moment” from them.
It does kind of make sense how kinks could be passed down generationally, though. In the same way that eye color, dimples, and freckles can be inherited, personality traits can be inherited as well, according to a study published in the Journal of Personality. And while having a certain sexual kink isn’t necessarily because of a personality trait, the study does give way to a possible explanation for how kinks could be hereditary.
Santini adds that many people might think kinks are hereditary because we know that genetics influence our sexual desires. In another study published in the National Library of Medicine, researchers confirmed that “female sexual desire and arousal problems have been shown to have a heritable component of moderate size.”
Ultimately, there’s no way to confirm whether or not our specific sexual preferences are hereditary until there’s more research.
Where Do Kinks Come From?
Santini notes that some people could develop kinks from unprocessed childhood trauma. However, this claim is “unsubstantiated,” and it’s more so that “some kink-identified people who happen to be survivors of trauma may engage in kink, or trauma play, to heal from, cope with, and transform childhood abuse or adolescent maltreatment,” according to research noted in the Sexual and Relationship Therapy journal. It’s also possible kinks can be developed through solo or partner exploration, meaning the type of sexual encounters people are exposed to can influence what they find pleasurable.
Plus, other factors like your personality and feelings around sex in general could contribute to your kinks. For example, if you were raised thinking that sex is dirty, it’s possible your kinks will look different than someone who was raised with a more positive outlook on sex. But ultimately, “no one really knows the connection between these conditions and kinks,” Santini says.
Because there’s no definitive truth as to whether kinks are hereditary, we probably don’t need to worry too much about a TikTok or Internet hypothesis. That said, if you want to put the theory to the test and ask your parents if they also enjoy the sensations of being tied up, proceed at your own risk.
Taylor Andrews is a balance editor at PS who specializes in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, and more.
