Living a long, healthy life is the goal for many people, but a growing body of research has found there’s more to it than eating well, exercising regularly, and having good genes. Empathy has repeatedly been linked with longevity, raising a lot of questions about whether people should try harder to be in tune with others.
Given that empathy is a character trait, it’s a harder thing to learn than, say, adding more fruits and vegetables to your diet. But researchers and psychologists say there’s real value in being an empathetic person, both in terms of being a good human and the ability to extend your life.
Here’s what’s behind the link between empathy and longevity, plus what you can do to become a more empathetic person.
What Is Empathy, Exactly?
Empathy is a complex character trait that allows people to understand and feel the emotional states of others. Someone who is empathetic is usually compassionate and able to take on the perspective of others.
“Understanding someone doesn’t mean you’re condoning their behavior,” says Thea Gallagher, PsyD, a clinical assistant professor at NYU Langone Health and a co-host of the Mind in View podcast. “But empathy does help you to be less judgemental of others.”
Empathy is a complex emotion, and there are different types. “The two primary components are emotional empathy and cognitive empathy,” says Janelle N. Beadle, PhD, a researcher and associate professor in the Department of Gerontology at the University of Nebraska Omaha. Emotional empathy is usually defined as the ability to feel compassion for others or the degree that you emotionally experience what someone else is going through, she explains. “In other words, it is an emotional response to someone else’s pain,” Beadle says.
Cognitive empathy is the ability to take on the perspective of another person in order to understand their thoughts and feelings, Beadle continues. “Typically, individuals who have a high level of one dimension of empathy also tend to have high levels of other dimensions of empathy,” she says.
Why Might Empathy Help You to Live Longer?
Empathy and longevity hasn’t been studied a ton, but research has found a link. One study of 441 people in Italy found that empathy can trigger social support and well-being if someone is empathetic across their life, especially from a young age. Empathy, the researchers concluded, can serve “as a sort of cushion that can be useful in the older to fulfill active aging.”
“We’re learning more about how social isolation and mental health impacts physical health – I see empathy as another side of that,” says James Powers, MD, professor of medicine in the division of geriatrics at the Vanderbilt University Medical Center’s Center for Quality Aging. People who are empathetic understand and appreciate others, and “their quality of life may be higher as a result,” he says.
Research has also found that people who feel lonely have a higher risk of mortality and that meaningful social connections can help to reduce some risk factors of mortality. Other studies have also shown that one of the building blocks of creating and maintaining emotionally meaningful connections throughout life is the capacity to empathize with other people. Understanding the needs of others and their perspective “can help you to be less angry, mad, and judgemental,” Dr. Gallagher says. “Those negative emotions are stressful, and stress is linked to a shorter lifespan,” she says. Empathy can also help people to feel more connected to others, which can reduce feelings of loneliness and ultimately boost health, she says.
Loneliness, on the other hand, has been linked with more health issues and a shorter life span, suggesting that empathy and the social connections that come with it may do the opposite. “Individuals with empathy difficulties are likely to have a harder time connecting with others,” Dr. Beadle says. All this said, more research is needed to confirm how empathy directly impacts longevity.
How Much Empathy Do You Need For Longevity?
Empathy can be tricky to measure, and research on empathy and longevity is ongoing. With that, Dr. Beadle says it’s “not known” how much empathy someone needs to have to live a longer life.
But too much empathy can actually be a bad thing. Highly empathetic people “are so burdened by their feelings and connections with people that they get burnt out and sicker over time,” says William Chopik, PhD, a social-personality psychologist and associate professor at Michigan State University. “The challenge is how to avoid being too empathic so that it doesn’t negatively affect your health and happiness,” he adds. That’s where boundary setting comes in.
How to Increase Your Empathy Levels
If you find yourself lacking in empathy, that’s OK, too. Some people are naturally more empathetic than others. But Dr. Chopik says it’s possible to increase your empathy levels.
“The first step is wanting to become more empathic – seeking out opportunities for perspective-taking and trying to feel how others feel,” he says. Dr. Chopik conducted a study of more than 400 people who were followed for 15 weeks and found that a “huge predictor” of becoming more empathetic was wanting to be empathetic.
“In a few of our other studies, we’ve assigned people to actually do different things in their everyday life – talk to a stranger, invite a friend out for coffee, try to reduce stress in this/that way,” Chopik says. “We found that there are a few behavioral things that explain why their personalities changed.”
Those include encouraging acts of generosity in people, like small acts of kindness or sending people gifts. But writing a gratitude list, actively reflecting on people in your life, and saying “sorry” to someone you upset can also be helpful, says Dr. Chopik. Trying to disrupt negative thoughts you have about others can encourage empathy too, he says.
Dr. Gallagher recommends making an effort to put yourself in other people’s shoes when you have your differences. “Think about why it may be a difficult time for them or why they’re responding in a certain way,” she says. “It doesn’t always have to lead to ‘we are going to be best friends’ or even to stay connected, but you can still have compassion.”
Ultimately, experts say it’s possible to be more empathetic – but it takes work. “If people want to change their personalities, they should know that it involves active investment in trying to do so,” Dr. Chopik tells PS. But he says it’s worth the effort. Not only can it make you happier, “it’ll probably improve your relationships with your loved ones, help calm relationships with people you don’t like, and might help our society at some point,” Dr. Chopik says.
Korin Miller is a writer specializing in general wellness, health, and lifestyle trends. Her work has appeared in Women’s Health, Self, Health, Forbes, and more.
