Image Source: Netflix
“Heartstopper” is first and foremost a love story. The gentle tale of first love is what initially drew me (and millions of others) to the boy-meets-boy Netflix series. Praised by audiences and critics alike for its representation of young, queer relationships – sans toxicity and tragedy – “Heartstopper” is wholesome teen content at its finest. Now in its third season, the love story has matured alongside its viewers – as have the complexities of navigating adolescence, specifically protagonist Charlie Spring’s worsening mental health and eating disorder (ED).
Having read the webcomics that the TV series is based on, I knew I’d be impacted by Charlie’s journey this season (which was released on Oct. 3). However, as the ending credits rolled, I came away with an even deeper understanding of the theme that is at the crux of my beloved series: people need people.
“No person in [ED] recovery is an island. Recovery takes a village,” says eating disorder therapist, educator, and consultant Jessica Sprengle, LPC, PMH-C. “EDs affect every body system and every [aspect] of a person’s life. Many different people are necessary to help facilitate healing. A therapist, for example, cannot do what a dietitian does. A physician cannot do what a therapist does. And, no professional can do what personal loved ones can do.”
In Charlie’s case, that village includes friends who make him laugh, parents who can get him the help he needs, a sister who defends him unconditionally, a therapist who offers ways he can better understand himself, and of course Nick, his boyfriend who makes him feel safe, special, and above all, worthy of love.
Experts Featured in This Article
Jessica Sprengle, LPC, PMH-C is an eating disorder therapist, educator, and consultant.
Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C is an eating disorder and body image specialist, author, and founder of The Eating Disorder Center.
Image Source: Netflix
What “Heartstoppers” Gets Right About EDs and Support Systems
Nick plays one of the most vital roles in getting Charlie to open up about his ED and mental health, offering viewers a positive example of how to handle the situation. Something he first observed last season has now spiraled into a crisis, one he doesn’t know how to fix. He shoulders the responsibility of “saving” Charlie, but soon realizes that he can’t do it alone. He turns to his aunt (who happens to be a psychiatrist), played by Hayley Atwell, who delivers a hard, but necessary, truth: “Charlie needs someone who isn’t his 16-year-old boyfriend. He needs help from a doctor or a therapist, someone who understands eating disorders.” She also gives Nick, and therefore viewers, detailed pointers on how to talk to Charlie about getting help. “Choose a place you both feel safe. Mention the things that have concerned you. Let him know you care about him. Oh, and this is an important one. Try to avoid making the conversation about food and weight,” she says.
It’s sound advice echoed by Sprengle. “You can name your concerns directly, express your concern and care, and keep the door open for them to come to you should their feelings change. If you’re a parent, you might approach this differently, especially depending on severity, but ultimately, it’s ideal for the situation to be collaborative.” Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C, founder of The Eating Disorder Center, author, and eating disorder specialist, adds, “It’s important to keep the focus off weight and instead on behaviors that you are concerned about. It’s also critical to encourage them to seek professional support for an eating disorder evaluation, if you think that they might be struggling with one.”
Nick wants Charlie to talk to his parents, but Charlie fears they’ll get angry with him – or worse, not believe him. Nick offers to go with him to tell his parents, a strategy Sprengle says is invaluable. “First, I just want to name how brave it is to disclose that you’re struggling with your mental health and need more support. I think this is especially true for eating disorders because of how poorly understood they are. There are many ways to approach these conversations . . . [but] having a trusted and supported other present is often always helpful.”
Charlie’s hesitations aren’t completely unfounded as he has a complicated relationship with his mom, Jane. She’s quick to anger and can be overbearing due to her own anxieties, leaving Charlie feeling alienated and misunderstood. While there is a dose of normal teen angst mixed in, Charlie also expresses that he feels she only sees him as someone with a mental illness, rather than a whole person. But viewers recognize that Jane is the one making sure he sticks to his meal plan and taking him to appointments, putting her in a tough spot as the one responsible for Charlie’s well-being. She precariously balances what he wants and what is best for him. Eventually, however, their communication develops, ultimately leading to forgiveness.
Image Source: Netflix
While Charlie’s relationship with his mom is contentious, his bond with his sister Tori is extremely close. Tori, played by Jenny Walser, considers Charlie to be her best friend and is his fiercest defender. “For Tori, a lot of this season is understanding how she can best help the person she loves the most in the world, when she can see him crumbling in front of her eyes. I think that’s something that isn’t talked about that often, how siblings who live under the same roof are maybe able to see things parents can’t,” Walser said in a recent interview with Gay Times. The siblings have a candid conversation during the last episode, where Tori admits she’s given all her love to Charlie, and would do it all over again. Charlie then realizes that in caring so singularly for him, Tori hasn’t opened herself up to anyone or anything else.
Similarly, Nick pours so much of his energy into Charlie that he loses his sense of self, something the experts we spoke with say is important to recognize and address. “Caring for someone through their recovery process can be a labor of love and that labor can’t come from an empty vessel,” Sprengle points out. As the saying goes ‘You cannot pour from an empty cup.’ It’s crucial to recognize and identify your own needs-self-care, rest, relaxation, fun – as a support person and make sure that they’re being met,” Rollins adds.
Charlie’s school friends are another part of his support system, albeit falling on the opposite end of the spectrum and taking a more indirect approach. Charlie never opens up to them about his ED, instead letting Nick explain why he’s not showing up for school while he’s at an inpatient facility. Even once he’s back at school, they never speak about it or make it a conversation point while they’re together. They hang out, joke around, and talk about life; it’s a different, more subtle form of support, but one that’s just as necessary.
Charlie does call his best friend Tao while he’s in the hospital and apologizes for not telling him. Tao immediately feels guilty for not catching it sooner, but after a few brief moments the two return to their easy banter. Soon after, his friend group sends him a care box filled with face masks, a card game, a video from Tao, and individual messages from his friends. According to Sprengle, it’s little things like that that can have a huge impact. “I know, personally, when I was in residential treatment, getting mail always made me feel like I wasn’t being forgotten and was still on people’s minds, even if from a distance. Phone calls, texts, emails, can also be great. Really, even the most basic sentiments of love and care can make a huge difference,” she says. At the end of his video, Tao sums up that sentiment poignantly and perfectly: “I hope that this video makes you feel loved.”
Image Source: Netflix
Throughout the eight-episode season, the phrase “support system” is never used. Instead, it’s shown through big and small moments, in the interactions Charlie has with Nick, his friends, and his family. As Charlie’s therapist tells him, “You have people around you who love and care for you, so enjoy them.” And that’s the magic of the show in a nutshell.
Many have asked creator Alice Oseman how “Heartstopper” can touch on such heavy topics while maintaining its signature optimism. My take? It all goes back to love. These are characters who lead with love. They genuinely care deeply for each other and, ultimately, themselves as well. And that’s revolutionary for young people to see. In a final therapy session, Charlie arrives at the conclusion, “Even though I love Nick, I need other people. My sister. My parents when they’re not being annoying. My friends. My therapist. And that doesn’t mean our relationship isn’t strong. In fact, I think it’s stronger now more than ever.”
At the end of the day, there isn’t another teen romance showcasing positive examples of relationships and self love, especially as they relate to mental health, in this way, something that’s hugely beneficial. “Eating disorders do not discriminate,” says Rollin. “I am so glad that ‘Heartstopper’ has shone a light on eating disorders in young men and the LGBTQ+ community.” Sprengle hopes that people who relate to Charlie’s story can walk away from the show feeling better represented and feeling like they, too, deserve love, support, and care, and most importantly, that ED recovery is possible.
As Nick’s aunt tells him in the second episode, “. . . knowing that sometimes people need more support than one person can give. That’s love, darling.” And in the end, that’s exactly what happens. Nick and Charlie’s relationship becomes a thread in the larger tapestry of what is the show’s true love story and superpower – the beauty of an unwavering support system.
Charisandra Perez is a social media strategist at PS. Charisandra has been working in social media for over five years and spends her days creating and implementing distribution strategy across Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and more. She has previously contributed to outlets such as WhoWhatWear and The Zoe Report.
