It’s recently come to my attention that I’m not the only one who feels serious sexual tension in the airport. Whether it’s 5 a.m. or midnight, making eye contact with someone roughly your age at the terminal or in the TSA line can feel oddly intimate. But why? What is it about this otherwise chaotic hub of random passengers and cargo that makes everyone kinda horny?
Well friends, it’s not just you and it’s not just me, because the feeling of heightened sexual energy at the airport is not a coincidence. “Airports put us in motion – emotionally, physically, and mentally – and when you’re surrounded by strangers in a state of liminality, people tend to feel more alive,” says relationship expert Channa Bromley, PhD. “It’s the unpredictability and possibility of something – anything – happening in the airport that makes people more open, more alive to the experience of connection, and more likely to flirt or acknowledge attraction.”
When you’re in the throes of will-they-won’t-they heat, it’s hard to describe the exact feeling, but sexual tension is the raw electricity between two people who are perhaps growing closer but not necessarily ready to touch, Dr. Bromley says. “Sexual tension is that magnetic pull you feel but can’t quite act on, which leaves the mind buzzing with possibilities,” she explains. And that sizzling tension, along with the unspoken potential and anticipation, is what makes sexual tension so intoxicating – whether you’re in an airport or not.
But what makes airports sexier than any other overcrowded destination? It’s a good question, for sure, because on the surface, the airport may seem like the last place you’d want to flirt as you run to your gate or wait in line to buy a $7 bottle of water. Psychologically speaking, however, Dr. Bromley says the sexual tension stems from the “what if?” factor. It’s not about physical contact or fulfilling a need, but about the mind racing with possibilities.
“The brain releases dopamine – a feel-good hormone – which drives the anticipation and desire, and when you’re in an airport, this tension is amplified because of the temporary nature of your presence,” Dr. Bromley says. The result? An emotional cocktail of excitement, security, and anxiety all at once.
Experts Featured in This Article
Channa Bromley, PhD, is a relationship and psychological insight coach.
Candice Nicole Hargons, PhD, is a psychologist, sexologist, and author of “Good Sex.”
On a deeper psychological level, the airport setting often comes with a feeling of uncertainty and the unknown – two factors that can actually heighten attraction. “Airports foster intimacy because they’re in-between spaces, and this sense of being ‘in-between’ invites a freedom that we don’t have in everyday life,” Dr. Bromley says. This is because people are more likely to experience emotional rawness when in transition and away from home and their regular routine.
“People are in a kind of psychological state of limbo when in the airport, and the inherent tension that comes with that state can easily spill over into something more sexual,” Dr. Bromley adds. So, in a way, it’s the paradox of the public space: transient and anonymous, yet filled with the promise of connection, even if just for a brief moment.
Depending on your physical proximity to another traveler, any sexual tension could also be attributed to a subconscious attraction to their pheromones (a chemical signal that is used between animals and humans to communicate emotions), says sexologist Candice Nicole Hargons, PhD. In fact, studies have shown that someone’s natural scent can impact attraction, ultimately playing a role in partner selection.
“That unknown factor is key to why airports can feel so charged.”
But it’s more than just environmental. At our core, humans are drawn to what feels forbidden or unexpected, and whether you like it or not, airports are a perfect breeding ground for that. “The typical framework of meeting someone and taking time getting to know them doesn’t exist, and that unknown factor is key to why airports can feel so charged,” Dr. Bromley says. After all, in most cases, you don’t even know the other person’s name, where they’re from, or where they’re going. For some, the lack of personal details can be unsettling, but for others, it can make someone appear more intriguing and mysterious, especially when there’s a physical attraction.
Not to mention, flirting in the airport can feel relatively low-stakes. “You’re exposed to each other in an environment that feels temporary, so it’s like a secret world where the normal rules don’t apply,” Dr. Bromley says. “The pressure of being ‘seen’ isn’t the same as in other public spaces, so people take more risks because it’s a dance where no one expects it to lead to something permanent.” People may also feel less nervous or inhibited from making a move because, if they’re rejected, there’s a very small chance they’ll ever see the person again, Dr. Hargons says.
This all now begs the question: should one act on their airport attraction? It’s not a simple yes or no answer, but Dr. Hargons says, “I always encourage people to see where that feeling takes them, within reason, so if you’re comfortable, start up a conversation and see if you’re interested in connecting beyond the airport.” Of course, it’s also important to remember that you’re effectively flirting with a complete stranger, so you have to keep safety, respect, and boundaries in mind.
But while it might be thrilling to pursue a no-strings-attached connection, that lust from afar isn’t always how it seems in actuality. “The fantasy of it might not translate when you actually act on it, so you risk ruining the mystery and that raw excitement of the unknown,” Dr. Bromley says. “In the end, the tension might be more powerful and satisfying than the encounter itself.”
Andi Breitowich is a Chicago-based freelance writer and graduate from Emory University and Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism. Her work has appeared in PS, Women’s Health, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere.
