If you’re wondering how to give a blowjob – and not just any blowjob, but how to give an amazing blowjob – you’ve come to the right place. Giving head is all about practice, prioritizing movements that you know will feel good for you and your partner, and learning some key basics. And whether you’re giving a sexy blowjob as foreplay or for the main act, oral sex is a great way to intimately connect with your partner.
While it’s important to take your partner’s pleasure into consideration, however, it’s just as important to make sure you’re prioritizing your own pleasure. This means only giving your partner a great blowjob if you want to give them one, choosing oral-sex positions that are comfortable for you, and not being afraid to say “no” if you don’t like the way something feels or how it’s escalating.
Fortunately, there are a lot of ways to help your partner reach an intense orgasm while also enjoying yourself. To make sure you can confidently please your partner and yourself, we spoke with a few experts about how to give the best blowjob that’s enjoyable for all parties involved. Before jumping into some of our A+ blowjob tips, though, let’s start with the basics.
Experts Featured in This Article
Jess O’Reilly, PhD, is a resident sexologist for Astroglide.
Kristen Mark, PhD, is a sex and relationship researcher, educator, therapist, and contributing expert for the sexual-wellness app Coral.
Britney Blair, PsyD, is the cofounder and chief science officer of sexual-wellness app Lover.
Jill McDevitt, PhD, is a licensed sex therapist and resident sexologist for CalExotics.
What Is a Blowjob?
Otherwise known as a BJ, giving head, or fellatio, a blowjob generally refers to when oral sex is performed on a partner with a penis. (Cunnilingus, on the other hand, is oral sex performed on someone who has a vagina, vulva, and/or clitoris.) It usually involves using your mouth, lips, and/or tongue to stimulate your partner’s penis, balls, and/or perineum (the area between the anus and front genitals).
How to Give a Blowjob
The number one thing to know about how to give a blowjob is that it doesn’t actually require any “blowing” at all. The experts will dive deeper into more exact blowjob tips below, but to start, a blowjob is given by wrapping your mouth around your partner’s penis, moving your head up and down to the extent of your comfort level, and using your tongue to lick around the penis simultaneously.
When a penis is inside your mouth, it’s important to keep your mouth in an open “O” shape and avoid using any teeth on your partner’s genitals (unless otherwise noted by your partner). Some people use their hands along with their mouth, but a blowjob can really be whatever you’d like it to be.
Once you have the basics down, you can step up your game with the best blowjob tips below, according to our experts.
Blowjob Tips
Tease Your Partner Before Diving In
You don’t want to do too much too quickly, so think of teasing as foreplay for foreplay. “Beginning with the hottest move makes it difficult to build toward a crescendo and maintain the excitement and endurance needed to reach climax,” sexologist Jess O’Reilly, PhD, tells PS. “First, rile [your partner] into a frenzy with a feather-light touch, teasing licks, wet kisses, shallow sucks, and heavy breathing.”
Kristen Mark, PhD, sex and relationship researcher, echoes this: “Once their arousal is heightened, slowly take them into your mouth and use your hand to provide pressure on the shaft,” she says.
And remember to watch out for those teeth. “For the first touch, keep in mind that the head or tip of the penis is extremely sensitive for most,” clinical psychologist Britney Blair, PsyD, explains. “Soft tongues and wet lips feel much better.”
Enhance the Feeling by Using Your Hands
While “oral sex” and “blowjob” make it sound like a mouth-focused activity, experts agree that your hands play a crucial role. “Your mouth and tongue provide wet and warmth, but your hands provide tightness and rhythm,” sexologist Jill McDevitt, PhD, says.
Dr. O’Reilly recommends using your fingers on the outside of your lips, and squeezing them together as you suck. “Your jaw will get a break, and you’ll create an extra-tight squeeze that will make their toes curl,” she says. This is also a great alternative if you don’t enjoy the taste or sensations of a blowjob.
Another option: Dr. O’Reilly suggests “creating a ring around the base of the penis or using two hands to create a tight band around the base and both testes.” And don’t ignore the shaft. “Think about your hand and your mouth as two tools working together, but separately, for ultimate pleasure,” Dr. Mark says. “Create one sensation with your hands, like a gentle twisting on the shaft, and another with your mouth, like a more intense sucking motion on the glans of the penis.”
Switch Up Your Technique
There’s no “right” way or single technique for how to give a blowjob. Everyone has different preferences and erogenous zones, so feel free to be creative, depending on what’s comfortable for you. “Most blowjobs involve placing the tongue against the underside of the penis as you suck,” Dr. O’Reilly says. “But the underside of the tongue offers a soft, gentle texture worth exploring.” She recommends alternating between shallow sucks with the underside of your tongue on the upper side of the penis and deeper swallows in the traditional way.
Dr. Blair suggests trying long licks up the shaft, gentle kisses with only your lips, or circling your tongue around the tip of the penis. “You could even stroke the shaft of the penis while licking the head or fondling the testicles,” she explains. To really kick things up a notch, Dr. McDevitt recommends holding a small vibrator on your cheek or under your chin so your partner can feel the vibration during the blowjob.
Involve the Testicles and the Perineum
Remember, the penis doesn’t have to be the only area involved in a blowjob. If you’re comfortable, “using your mouth on the testicles and moving down to the perineum (the area between the testicles and the anus) is often just as pleasurable for many people as stimulating the penis,” Dr. Blair says.
O’Reilly recommends using two fingers or a sex toy to press into the area. “Increase the pressure as [their] arousal intensifies, and stroke firmly back and forth (a tiny movement will do) in rhythm with your sucking,” she says. While this area may be uncharted territory for you or your partner, it’s worth exploring.
Have Fun With It
The more you enjoy it, the more they’ll enjoy it. “The best tip I can give you is learn to love it,” Dr. Blair says. “People who enjoy going down on their lover seem to be the most skilled at delivering pleasure to their partners.”
That said, this kind of blowjob confidence doesn’t always happen overnight. If you’re feeling insecure, talk to your partner ahead of time about what they like and don’t like and discuss what you’re most comfortable with. After, find a comfortable position, take a deep breath, and enjoy the power of pleasing your partner with oral.
– Additional reporting by Theresa Massony and Taylor Andrews
Kacie Main is a former PS contributor.
Theresa Massony is the former senior living editor at PS, overseeing home, food, love, sex, tech, astrology, and more content.
Taylor Andrews is a Balance editor at POPSUGAR who specializes in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, and more. In her six years working in editorial, she’s written about how semen is digested, why sex aftercare is the move, and how the overturn of Roe killed situationships.
