Orgasms are wonderful, so it’s natural to want more of them. But if the quantity of your orgasms is not the problem, it’s possible you could improve the quality of your orgasms instead.
Because orgasms come in all different shapes and sizes – some orgasms are small, some are large, some are intense, and some are milder releases – it can be hard to pinpoint what exactly you need to achieve the best orgasm ever. But if you want to learn how to have a better orgasm, you’ve come to the right place.
Before we dive into how to have more a more intense orgasm, though, it’s important to clarify that sex should not always be about orgasming. It’s about exploring your erogenous zones and finding new pathways to pleasure. Once you get out of your head and enjoy the pleasure for what it is, the best orgasms will come.
With help from sex experts, here’s everything to know about how to have a better, more intense orgasm. Enjoy!
Experts Featured in This Article
Alicia Sinclair is a sex expert and founder of sex-toy brands B-Vibe and Le Wand.
Alex Fine is a sex expert and the founder of sex-toy brand Dame.
Nadia Kumentas is a sex expert and the founder of Mingo Health.
Elayne Daniels, PhD, is a psychotherapist and relationship coach.
How to Have a Better Orgasm
Keep It Going Even After You Orgasm
Instead of stopping play immediately after you experience an orgasm, don’t be afraid to “ride the wave,” as the Weeknd says. According to a study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, people with vulvas tend to have shorter refractory periods than those with penises. This means you may find that you could experience another orgasm shortly after you already experienced one.
“Think about it like this: the body is already warmed up and in the mood, so it’s easier to bring it back to a heightened place than starting all over again,” sex expert Alicia Sinclair says. You’re aiming to stay aroused, rather than letting yourself totally cool down after orgasm. However, if you feel that one part of your body is getting overstimulated, “try switching to another [body part] for the subsequent orgasm,” sex expert Alex Fine recommends. “Listen to your body and reengage after each orgasm to maintain arousal.”
Masturbate
Don’t be shameful or awkward about your masturbation technique or habits – touching yourself often can help enhance your orgasms. “Experiencing pleasure is about being connected to your body and your partner. The better you get to know yourself through masturbation, the better you can communicate your desires and guide your partner to help you climax,” sex expert Mia Davis says.
With that in mind, take some time to really enjoy yourself. Draw a bath, put on music that turns you on, and grab your favorite sex toy. Devote time to the practice, since masturbation is largely a practice of self-care.
Close Your Eyes
When you close your eyes, you cut off one of your main senses: sight. This, in turn, will make everything you feel more extreme because you can’t actually see what’s happening. If you try this, really lean into everything that is happening to you, and pay attention to each nerve ending. If closing your eyes isn’t doing it for you, try to add a blindfold into your sexual play for some bonus kink play.
Try Edging
Edging is the easiest way to have a stronger, more intense orgasm. It’s what happens when you repeatedly halt sexual play right before experiencing an orgasm. “Essentially, you slowly bring yourself closer and closer to coming, but hold back before going over the edge,” sexual wellness expert Nadia Kumentas says.
Though this sounds like cruel and unusual punishment, growing your pleasure threshold will only make the final release that much more explosive. When you become aroused and then let it go, the energy is recycled, waiting just under the surface to be ignited once again. If you keep building toward a finale, the endgame will be unreal. “By prolonging the whole juicy process, it makes everything more fun in general (whether you’re solo or with a friend or two!)” Kumentas says.
Breathe Into It
“The breath is of number one importance. It keeps the body loose and receptive, easier to arouse,” says psychotherapist Elayne Daniels, PhD. Utilize all of those techniques you’ve heard of in yoga and Pilates classes, and breathe deeply and consciously during your entire sexual experience. It’s easy to get excited and hold your breath, but avoid doing this in order to find a stronger, more intense orgasm.
Find a Vibrator You Love
A small vibrator can make all the difference during sex – especially for people with clitorises. Try something small and easy to maneuver like the Fin ($65) from Dame, or, if you want something more explosive, you can always opt for a rabbit-style vibrator that stimulates both the clitoris and internal pleasure spots at the same time. (Hello, blended orgasm.) And don’t forget about anal play – adding a butt plug or anal beads to your normal masturbation routine can greatly improve your orgasm.
Try a New Sex Position
One of the best ways to enhance your orgasms is to try a new sex position. After all, your body can get used to the sensations that come from lying on your back or stomach consistently, so switching things up can be the spontaneous boost your orgasms need. Our suggestion? Try tipping the scales. This is often suggested for two people with vulvas, but really, any duo could fall in love with this oral-sex position. While your partner lies on their back, get on top of them with your legs framing their face (almost like a 69 position). Prop yourself up with your arms, and move your hips back until their tongue is hitting just the right spot. You cum first, then, you switch.
– Additional reporting by Taylor Andrews
Gigi Engle is a former PS contributor.
Taylor Andrews is a Balance editor at PS who specializes in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, and more.
