Chatter around a celebrity age-gap relationship is making headlines again, but it’s not because Leonardo DiCaprio finally decided to date a woman older than 25. “Laguna Beach” alum and entrepreneur Kristin Cavallari, 37, recently debuted a new relationship with TikTok content creator Mark Estes, 24, and the internet is swarming.
In an Instagram on Feb. 27, Cavallari hard launched with a selfie of the pair smiling. The caption read, “He makes me happy.” On Estes’s respective medium, he uploaded a TikTok of the two lip synching to the 2011 country song “(Kissed You) Good Night” with the caption, “Ready to fall.”
@markestes001 Ready to fall #fyp
Without a doubt, these two may be the best looking couple I’ve ever seen, and I’d 1,000 percent drink their bathwater if given the chance. But others on social media aren’t too happy with the pairing. Some people are calling out the 13-year age gap by saying, “What could a 37 year old and 24 year old possibly have in common?” One Instagram user added, “Homeboy was 6 when The Hills aired on MTV,” and another commented, “This feels illegal,” following by the vomiting emoji.
Others are more concerned about Cavallari being a single mom. “Girl why is he closer in age to ur kids then [sic] u??? Like hello,” wrote one TikTok user. “Your kids need a step dad, not a big brother lol,” wrote one Instagram commenter. “She’s finally posting pics of her kids,” another said.
But many aren’t acknowledging the most concerning part of it all: the raging double standard.
When older men date younger women, it often goes unnoticed. Not sure who needs to hear this, but some of society’s favorite couples have a similar age-gap to Cavallari and Estes: Beyoncé is 37, JAY-Z is 48. Blake Lively is 31, Ryan Reynolds is 42. George Clooney is 62, Amal Clooney is 46. Even the celebrity couple du jour, Bradley Cooper and Gigi Hadid, share a 20-year age difference. And yet, there are rarely complaints about any of these age gaps.
This is the kind of grace given exclusively to men. For women like Cavallari; Priyanka Chopra, who is 10 years older than Nick Jonas; and Demi Moore, who is 15 years older than ex Ashton Kutcher, there’s unfair judgement, harsh criticism, and a double standard.
It makes people uncomfortable because it challenges the notion of what is supposed to be “traditional.”
Although this could be for a myriad of reasons, it likely comes down to what society thinks relationships should look like. Men are often seen as the providers in relationships, praised for their status and power, while women are valued more for their youth and beauty. When older women date younger men who may be less successful or make less money than them, it makes people uncomfortable because it challenges the notion of what is supposed to be “traditional.” Yet when older men date younger women, it reinforces the idea that men are dominant and should be with younger, more attractive partners as if it’s their divine right.
But there’s also another element here: the unfair expectations put on single moms. Because Cavallari is a single mom, she is held to a different standard. Many have opinions on what moms should look like or how moms should behave, so when she is seen dating someone who is most likely not at all prepared to be with someone who has three children, people judge her for this. Just because Cavallari casually hinted at a new relationship on social media, though, doesn’t mean she’s necessarily looking for a stepfather to her children.
While her age gap with Estes is a fundamental difference they’ll have to face if things do progress, it’s also OK for Cavallari to date someone without the intention of making them a serious life partner. And contrary to what many people may believe, it’s also OK for single mothers to prioritize their happiness – even if that means dating someone who is, yes, young, but could quite possibly be the hottest man to come out of the state of Montana. (Single moms have eyes and get horny too, OK?)
Age-gap relationships can be messy. And I’m not saying it’s uncomplicated for anyone to have a 13-year age gap, no matter who is older. The success of an age-gap relationship heavily depends on both individuals. But if we’re going to be OK with the Blake and Ryans of the world, we should be OK with the Kristin and Marks too.
Taylor Andrews is a wellness editor at POPSUGAR who specializes in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, and more. In her six years working in editorial, she’s written about how semen is digested, why sex aftercare is the move, and how the overturn of Roe killed situationships.
