Mandy Teefey knew she was different at an early age. She was adopted, and while Teefey says “my parents are my parents,” she always felt like an outsider in life. Then, at 17, that feeling was exacerbated. “I started really having these ups and downs,” says Teefey, who’s a film producer and singer Selena Gomez’s mom. She describes the symptoms as manic episodes, involving bursts of tears and unexpected emotions.
When it started to affect her schooling Teefey began asking herself, “Why is everything so much harder on me?” Her parents didn’t understand it either. “My parents didn’t even knew what ADHD was, or what bipolar was – it was either you were crazy or you were normal, and that’s just how it was back then,” Teefey says.
It wasn’t until Teefey was in her 20s that she saw a mental health professional, the first in what ended up being a long line of doctors. “I went through the process with 12 doctors. One medication just completely numbed me. Another medication kept me manic all the time, which is fun, sometimes – you feel like you can conquer the world, right? But it’s not healthy.”
Eventually, Teefey was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder and was put on a medication called Lamictal, an anti-seizure medication commonly used to treat manic or depressive states in people with bipolar disorder. “It worked for years. I felt great. And then when I went into menopause, I started having seizures from the medication.” That was in 2017, the same year that Teefey and Gomez were shooting “13 Reasons Why”. In between casting and interviews, Teefey recalls experiencing sporadic grand mal seizures, which involve violent muscle contractions and loss of consciousness. “A week before we were going into table reads for season two, I called the show runner . . . and I said, ‘I need to go somewhere and I need to figure this out.'”
“It was frustrating, but it’s been great learning, ‘OK, now this makes sense.'”
Teefey checked herself into a treatment center where they took her off all medications, assigned her a therapist and a psychologist, and “they just slowly did test after test after test.” Three weeks into the 30-day treatment, Teefey was told that she’d been misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder and had actually been dealing with ADHD all along.
“I had to relearn everything about my brain,” she says. “It was frustrating, but it’s been great learning, ‘OK, now this makes sense.'” Her tendency to “chaotically hop from one thing to another” and blunt demeanor are two ADHD qualities she’s been particularly conscious of, especially when talking to Gomez, who was diagnosed with both bipolar disorder and lupus.
“We’ve learned to hear each other in a different way,” Teefey says. Now, she and her daughter call one another out when feelings are hurt and offer grace when possible – with themselves and one another.
But sometimes, the shame still creeps in, Teefey admits. “As an adult, you feel like, ‘I shouldn’t have to do the extra work that I have to do,'” Teefey says. On those days, she finds comfort in Wondermind, the media company she and Gomez created in 2022 to destigmatize mental health conditions.
“We created Wondermind because we need it too, and we’re growing with our audience,” Teefey says. She and Gomez have been very intentional in the company’s messaging that you may have a diagnosis, but you aren’t just a diagnosis – a distinction Teefey picked up from a friend after being diagnosed with ADHD.
“Sometimes I spit things out and I’m like, ‘Oh, I have ADHD’ and then one day she goes, ‘Drop the label. You have it, but you’re not it.” The advice stuck with Teefey and played a key role in how the Wondermind website it set up. You’ll notice the content isn’t just grouped by condition or diagnosis. You can also filter by feelings: insecure, happy, sad, angry, anxious, stuck. You don’t have to identify with a particular label to find comfort there, Teefey says. “It can be for everyone.”
Alexis Jones (she/her) is the senior health and fitness editor at PS. In her six years of editorial experience, Alexis has developed passions and areas of expertise around mental health, women’s health and fitness, racial and ethnic disparities in healthcare, and chronic conditions. Prior to joining PS, she was the senior editor at Health magazine. Her other bylines can be found at Women’s Health, Prevention, Marie Claire, and more.
