On the internet, a particular breed of bros specializes in two things: convincing others they’ve mastered the mind by conquering self-imposed challenges and then patting themselves on the back for doing said performative tasks. It seems the sky’s the limit for arrogance, and recently, TikTok’s enlightened vikings have been singing their own praises for sitting still on long ass flights doing absolutely nothing. The endurance! The mental power! The masculinity!
Dubbed “raw dogging,” this travel trend involves taking a flight without any entertainment – no music, movies, reading, etc. For some, this includes abstaining even from human necessities like food, drinks, sleeping, and using the bathroom. Just the flight map and the minutes ahead.
As a travel writer, I’ve taken nearly a hundred flights and have unintentionally participated in this trend because sometimes leisure is the ultimate luxury on a busy schedule. I didn’t become a better man for it; I was lazy and resting.
Raw doggers, however, are contextualizing their experiences with the same intellect that Carrie Bradshaw would’ve used to compare their dateability to french fries, or what have you. (Carrie at least got paid for peddling nonsense.) But there’s no cash prize for suffering through a flight, and it certainly doesn’t increase your testosterone levels.
Listen, I understand and agree with the gist of the raw dogging perks: society desperately needs more opportunities for a digital detox – a break from instant dopamine. An eight-hour moment to collect our thoughts and cope with the trauma of the literal and ideological wars around us. But the concept and purpose of raw dogging have gone beyond meditative spirituality into a boy’s club of toxic masculinity and the pressure to prove manhood by being ridiculous. (For an early example of raw dogging flights, see Elaine’s boyfriend Buddy in “Seinfeld.”) It’s not a new trend but a rare type of passenger, a trait that is only quirky or zen when you’re not filming it with an iPhone to flex online later.
I’m not better than these guys. I’ve fallen prey to my insecurities all the time. In high school, my brothers and their friends used to play games that gave them a free pass to hurt each other, whether it was a punch on the shoulder or a knee to the groin. It was hilarious, at least for me and anyone else not participating. However, my friend challenged me to a slap game inspired by “How I Met Your Mother,” and I begrudgingly played until they surprised me by hiding in the back of my car and slapped me so hard that I almost drove through a fence. It’s a wonder we never got expelled for running around the school premises, jumping out of corners to slap the hell out of each other.
Tolerating pain or discomfort with a cheeky smile has always been seen as an utmost respectable trait of masculinity. And although there’s a direct correlation between the mind and your sensory nerve endings, I’ve learned there’s no glory in putting yourself in the line of fire, especially if all you want to do is brag about it.
Look at a cultural entity like “Jackass”: they spent decades performing dangerous stunts, taking blows to the head that killed who knows how many brain cells. That said, entertaining the public is not the same as earning respect. And in hindsight, it was a celebration of stupidity – not masculinity.
Raw dogging is nowhere near as extreme (unless you’re taking a cross-continental flight without water or using the bathroom), but the mentality seems to intertwine with unjustifiably putting manhood on a pedestal. Although some women have joined the raw dogging conversation, it’s interesting to see how desperate guys appear to want to keep the practice for the boys, like a “Fight Club” sort of TikTok phenomenon where the dangers are boredom, dehydration, peeing your pants, or worsening jet lag.
Luke Winkie, a staff writer at Slate, told GQ in a piece about the trend, “I don’t think men have the same ‘treat culture‘ that women do, which is frankly a shame. A long flight, for women, is the perfect venue to organize an entire itinerary of treats, and I do think men tend to be more stoic and weird about the spaces in which they allow themselves to receive pleasure.”
For me, this is hilarious because you never hear about women masturbating in the subway. What more of a public treat do you want? In reality, perhaps men carry more shame in acknowledging that the sexes are not so different when it comes to indulgence and their capabilities. Just look at recent unisex lifestyle trends like pickleball and cold plunges.
In an interview about his international raw dogging experience for the Substack Airplane Mode, comedian Kareem Rahma said, “I like challenges. They are a nice way to entertain oneself. The stupider the challenge, the better. I hate challenges that actually make you a better person.” Although Rahma is aware of the unseriousness, he also shared that he had 30-minute conversations with a fellow raw dogger on the same flight. Isn’t socializing the ultimate source of creature joy and, therefore, cancels out the feat of abstaining from entertainment?
Rahma later added, “I think it would make men less aggressive and the world a better place if we were occupied with innocent challenges . . . They would give up power more easily.”
So yes, raw dogging flights can elevate the enlightenment of your manhood if you’re an emblem of toxic masculinity with the maturity of a gerbil. But if you need to distract yourself with “challenges” to navigate the world with human decency, then mental fortitude may actually be a weak spot.
True enlightenment and mental resilience come from facing the obstacles life throws at you, not the ones premeditated with a timer. If there were indeed a scientific link between a person’s ability to endure discomfort or pain and masculinity, women wouldn’t be the ones menstruating every month or giving birth. Longtime travelers know that the ultimate purpose in life is the search for joy, knowledge, and new experiences, which can best be achieved by finding ways to enrich the dull moments that get you there.
Jamie Valentino is a Colombian-born freelance journalist and romance columnist published in the Chicago Tribune, the Houston Chronicle, Men’s Journal, Reader’s Digest UK, Vice, and more. Jamie has worked as a travel correspondent, covering the 2022 World Cup from Argentina, siesta culture in Barcelona, and the underground nightlife scene in Milan.
