Wedding traditions are not what they once were. Following the pandemic, couples these days are taking control and curating celebrations that feel more unique to them and their wishes. Given the high cost of hosting (or even just attending) a wedding, they’re also embracing more intimate ceremonies. This newfound approach is evident even in the invitations.
Whereas elaborate, multi-page invitation suites have fallen out of fashion in recent years, more and more couples are choosing to send their invites digitally. (Saving money and paper? Great.) Within that group, however, are fiancées foregoing all formalities by texting their wedding details to all invited guests.
In fact, The New York Times reported on this phenomenon in August, speaking to several couples who sent their wedding invites in the form of a casual group text that one might otherwise expect to be in reference to a pool party or dollar-oyster happy hour. (Hell, even birthday invitations are sent via Partiful these days.)
There are services, like Paperless Post, that exist to organize and streamline this process for couples choosing a more casual form of communication, but texting a wedding invite seems to take things a step further. Why now? And how can this be done in a way that doesn’t completely derail the planning process? PS spoke with a wedding planner to find out.
Experts Featured in This Article
Claire Marie Roche is a wedding planner and the founder of Grit & Grace Events.
Why Are People Texting Wedding Invites?
Let’s face it: wedding stationery is expensive. According to The Wedding Report, the average cost of wedding invitations in 2023 was between $256 and $312. The Knot also ran an independent study that found respondents spent an average of $390 for invites and $510 for all wedding stationery, including day-of programs and place cards.
Roche – who, it’s worth noting, is based in southern California – finds that to be “somewhat” in line with what she sees. “I’ve seen it higher,” she tells PS. “It might be that I just work with a different clientele, but with my pulse on the wedding world and my audience, I think that’s kind of low.”
Roche will often encounter couples who don’t have a specific vision for their stationery, and claim they’re “good with whatever,” until they start seeing options. And as they define their aesthetic, they may gravitate towards more costly options. “You’re not gonna spend $500 on something that you’re just OK about,” Roche says, “I think that’s such a normal evolution.”
Texting an invitation, on the other hand, cuts that cost out entirely – and that of course adds to the appeal. “Weddings are becoming inaccessible. The weddings you see on Pinterest are not possible for most couples getting married, assuming they’re in their 20s and 30s – even if they have a good job,” Roche says.
And because of the many elopements and backyard weddings that took place during the pandemic, many couples are now seeking similar cost-saving workarounds. “They’re asking themselves, do I wanna spend my money on this, like this?” Roche adds. “They want a wedding. They want to marry their person . . . but people are doing more unique things and breaking the norms a bit more.”
How to Text Your Wedding Invitations
For couples determined to skip the stationery, there are a few recommendations.
Start by collecting each guest’s phone number, when you’d might otherwise ask for mailing addresses. Consider whether you’d like to text guests individually or by household. Roche asks, “Would you want to actually text every single person – like the parents and all four children? Or do you just want to text the mom and dad?” (Roche recommends the latter.)
Roche always strongly suggests using a shareable platform, like Google Sheets, to organize this information. Organize the spreadsheet with a guest’s full name, phone number, and then RSVPs once those start rolling in later on.
There are platforms that can streamline this process, like Text My Wedding, which allows couples to essentially send texts to their entire guest list without putting everyone on one (inevitably long and messy) text thread. Text My Wedding has a free option allowing couples to send up to the ten messages to their guest list, but there are other packages ranging from $47 to $227 depending on the number of messages.
The service also lets couples schedule texts ahead of time so they don’t have to worry about any communication on the day of. “Being able to schedule out texts to all your guests is the best,” Roche says. “You could sit on your couch on a Tuesday evening with a glass of wine and type in all of your texts that will be sent to your guests the week of your wedding.”
Roche recommends scheduling a few texts in particular: an RSVP reminder a week before the deadline, and then again the day they’re due; reminders about the dress code and plus-one policies a month out from the wedding; and then, the week of the wedding, reminders about any other pertinent information, like transportation.
Even in the more casual approach to communication, Roche still recommends collecting RSVPs digitally through a wedding website, like Zola or The Knot. This helps ensure RSVPs don’t get lost in an unread text, but Roche says it also helps establish the stakes. “Texts feel very casual, which is kind of the point of this, but how many times has one of us gotten an invite to a party and you text yes, but it’s so casual that you could change your mind tomorrow?” She adds, “That would be my concern. So I would lead them towards an online RSVP for organizational and commitment purposes.”
The Bottom Line
While it’s absolutely possible for couples to skirt physical stationery, it helps to have some process in place, even for the most laidback of couples.
“It’s still a wedding,” Roche says. “It’s still a beautiful special day. Taking guests to the wedding website tells them to not show up in jeans unless they’ve been told they can, or don’t just bring your neighbor to our wedding because it feels casual. You need a little bit of that oomph and credibility so people still take your wedding seriously cause I think a text invitation communicates something different.”
Kelsey Garcia is the associate content director of PS Balance, where she oversees lifestyle coverage, from dating to parenting and financial wellness. Kelsey is passionate about travel, skin-care trends, and changes in the social media landscape. Before joining the PS team more than eight years ago as an editorial assistant, she interned at Elle and Harper’s Bazaar, among other publications.
