In today’s world of digital distractions and personalized spaces, it’s easier than ever for young children to disappear into their rooms with an iPad or some toys. But for families that prioritize time together in the living room, connection becomes part of the daily routine.
Experts refer to this kind of dynamic as a “living room family,” and it’s exactly what it sounds like: a family that makes it a point to spend time together in a living room or other shared space. Instead of retreating into their own rooms, family members may gather on the couch to read books together, work on a puzzle at the coffee table, or watch a show on Netflix.
A living room family creates an environment that makes it easy to build familial bonds without effort. And though the quality time isn’t always intentional or particularly structured, by simply being together in a shared space, children can feel more comfortable, supported, and connected.
“The idea of a ‘living room family’ captures the value of togetherness – not in a forced way, but as a daily rhythm that can help families stay connected in small, meaningful ways,” adolescent mental health expert Caroline Fenkel, DSW, says. “Creating a welcoming shared space where everyone feels they can comfortably gather can give a family those small moments that add up to a lasting sense of closeness over time.”
Experts Featured in This Article
Caroline Fenkel, DSW, LCSW, is an adolescent mental health expert and the chief clinical officer at Charlie Health, a treatment program for teens and adults struggling with their mental health.
Tamar Z. Kahane, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist and the founder of The Kahane Center, a mental health center that offers psychological and neuropsychological services.
What Is a Living Room Family?
A living room family is one that sees its common areas as central gathering spaces. “For these families, the living room is where family members feel welcome to come together regularly, whether to relax, chat, or share their day’s events,” Dr. Fenkel says.
When spending time together in the living room becomes normal for your family, Dr. Fenkel says it lets children see their parents as available and engaged, even if they’re doing something different in the space. “This simple, consistent access to one another helps children feel safe and grounded, knowing they have a secure base where they belong.”
While closeness is a major part of having a living room family, it’s not the only benefit. According to clinical psychologist Tamar Z. Kahane, PsyD, having a living room family also creates a “breeding ground for children to develop social cognition skills.” In a shared space, children can learn from overhearing conversations and observing family dynamics. They can also learn how to be around others, how to socialize, and how to share.
How to Create a Living Room Family For Your Children
If you want to raise children in a living room family, you can start by making the living room a welcoming and accessible space. “Set up spots where kids can play, read, or work on small projects, even if they’re just small containers or designated corners,” Dr. Fenkel says.
As a parent, you’ll also want to make sure you spend time in the living room yourself, which will “subtly encourage others to do the same,” Dr. Fenkel adds. You don’t have to necessarily be doing an activity with your children during this time, but being present is the most important part.
Another important note is that you don’t have to have a living room in order to create this kind of family dynamic. Though it may be more challenging, Dr. Kahane says that you can create a shared space in whatever area makes sense in your household. “This too can be seen as potential learning opportunities for children to improve their ability to take turns, develop distress tolerance, and become more flexible.”
Additionally, it’s OK if you don’t have a compatible schedule with the other members of your family. “When both parents work, of course it’s harder to have this family time,” Dr. Kahane says. For some families, it may not be realistic for this dynamic to happen every day, she adds. “But even if families can set aside Friday night as family time or other pockets of time, this can be helpful.”
At the end of the day, building a living room family is all about connecting with your children and partner. Find whatever way that works for you and your family to do just that.
Taylor Andrews (she/her) is the balance editor at PS, specializing in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel, and more. With seven years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and storytelling. Prior to joining PS in 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.
